I am not yet 30. At my age, you never think about friends dying. Its been almost 4 months since Cassie went to heaven after a battle with cancer. I still think about her often, and pray that no one else I'm close to ever has to go through what she went through. I'm fortunate though, because as a teenager I never lost a friend to a car accident or anything like that, Cassie was the first close friend that was young that I lost. When you lose someone you think of all those things you've always said you'd do and looking back at what I've gotten to do, I've had some great experiences. When I was 13 I said I wanted a nametag in Yellowstone that said Lori--Missouri. In other words, wouldn't that be the greatest place to work. Ten years ago, I got that nametag, had an extraordinary summer that I wouldnt have traded for anything. I spent the following two summers out west, loving the land, discovering things about myself, and making close friends that would move mountains for you if needed. Where am I going with this rambling? This week I got news that one of those close friends...someone I spent almost every waking hour with the summer of 2000 passed away. Melissa's family doesn't know why. She was 25 years old and simply didn't wake up Monday morning. She had three small children, ages 3, 4, and 5. So many questions left unanswered and again, all I can do is think back on all of the good times we had, from working at the sheep center, Melissa putting on the sheep costume while I sat beside her nearly frozen in the fourth of July parade, to the late night phone calls after the summer had ended. And then there's the past few years, we've both been busy with life, an email here and there, an occassional phone call, but not a lot of communication. But still, I will always think of her as a close friend. And now, the best thing any of us can do, whether you knew Melissa or not, is to pray for her family, especially her husband, as he is now faced with raising his family without a mother, and dealing with losing the love of his life.
While on a somber note, also pray for little Logan, a four year old little boy of a close friend of mine. This week they found out he has cancer and they have begun chemotherapy. Pray for his parents, Diane and Eric as well, because being a mother now, that would be my worst nightmare coming true.
Life isn't all somber, but with an email like this, I think I should wait until another post to add the funny antecdotes (however you spell it) of my life.
As I was sitting on the couch watching the kids (I think I was actually feeding one of the babies), the other day I started thinking. There are many choices we make in life that seem right and then a couple months later we question if we had done the right thing. There have been times in life when we wished we could replay and have another shot to do things better. Then there are times like now. I was sitting on the couch with one foot tucked under me and the other dangling down (yes, for you tall people out there my leg was dangling because it didnt reach the floor). I looked at the edge of the couch and little fingers appeared. In just a couple seconds I heard giggling and saw eyes looking over the edge of the couch at me. Yes, Emily is learning to pull herself up. She can pull up to her knees pretty easy now, its getting all the way to her feet that she has trouble with...but I'm sure that will come soon. And then, that same day, one of the babies rolled over for the first time. I questioned whether I should tell the mom, knowing that it is those moments with Emily that I want to be there for, and I am thankful, with absolutely no regrets, that I get to stay home with her every day and see all those little things that mean so much. It seems like just yesterday we were excited she rolled over and now.....she's off! And she likes to try to eat leaves. Maybe she caught some of those edible plant programs before she was born and didnt realize that brown leaves weren't on the menu....
